Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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