That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
