just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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