Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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