She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
