Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
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