I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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