why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
