Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
