You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
40s are totally the cure
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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