Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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