all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
