he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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