Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
