There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
