How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
