so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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