My first STD was from a foam party
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
