Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
