Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
