how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
