i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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