and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize