yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think we might need a safe word for this...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
