cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
