I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
