Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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