I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
