I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
