At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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