just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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