i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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