What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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