Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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