it hurts more in the daytime
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
