My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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