oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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