I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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