If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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