I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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