you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
