if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize