So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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