brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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