sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
