chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
