hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
