WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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