Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
