You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
