I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
