I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
