I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
