She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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