Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
