You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
