Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
People in love make me want to vomit
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
