You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
