I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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