My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
