I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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